Starting All Over Again
I get this question often: “How did you manage to get sober and rebuild your life?” My response is always the same; I simply surrendered.
My story of substance abuse is no different from the stories you see in the news or the ones you see in the streets. Drugs do the same to all human beings regardless of their social status, educational level, or where they come from in life. It creates a dependency in your brain that eventually turns into an obsession. You lose all interest in the things and people you care, including yourself.
My drug abuse took the best of me during a span of ten years. I started to use just after my divorce and it gradually began to escalate. This meant I needed bigger amounts of drugs to get the desired high. It also meant I started to try new and different drugs. Naturally, it started to reflect in my lifestyle and in my interactions with people. I lost many jobs and I lost many friends. I distanced myself from my family and became totally unrealiable with my children. I lost my home, my car and all my money.
One day at the bottom of my chaotic life, I went on my knees and then crumbled to the floor crying; I was desperate. It was at that moment where I surrendered and cried out for help. I was admitted voluntarily into a detox program for seven days. The first 48 hours were surreal. It was the hardest thing I experienced in my life. I was willing to do as I was told for the sake of myself and to become whole again.
I started my 12 Step program by going to Alcoholic Anonymous meetings every day. My first milestone was to complete 90 meetings in 90 days. From there, the AA program became my safety harbor. I learned that I was not alone in my addiction.
From the moment I surrendered, my life began to go in a new direction. New doors and opportunities began to open. I was glowing with the knowledge that I had my life back again; I had a second chance.
Naturally, as a result of ten years of drug abuse, I was broke. I humbly had to go through periods of living with the basics. With time, and by staying loyal and focused, I began to repay my debts. I learned to be happy and to accept every stage of my journey.
How does my life look like now? I have been sober for 11 years and happy. I currently still work as an accountant. My job situation improved with time and is still going strong. I enjoy family time with a new sense of gratitude. Life even placed a wonderful man in my life who loves and values me and respects my sobriety because we share the same path of recovery. I started practicing yoga to make my life entirely complete.
Life can be either a horrendous struggle or an amazing journey. We just have to travel in the right direction with a heart full of gratitude and start all over again every day.